Ewwww Matt!

I'm two weeks away from my first marathon - yes 42.2 kilometers of sheer madness. I've been off booze, fried food, and other junk food for a fortnight already and I'm liking the results. It's cross-training day, and I enter the gym. I head to the changing room to change into gym gear where I spot the weighing machine and decide to weigh myself before hitting the weights. As I begin to strip, "moron" enters:

Moron: ewwww Matt!
(now that didn't sound like a lil girl, this was definitely a guy. I was in the men's locker room anyway.)
Me: Hey , what's up? Everything ok?
Moron: ewwww Matt!! Gross!!!!!! (pronounced "growse")
Me: Huh!
Moron: What are you doing man?
Me: Stripping down to weigh myself.
Moron: Ewwwww
(Now his "ewwwwing" is getting to me and I'm feeling awkward standing in my undies in front of this jack ass who seems to possess the vocabulary of a teenage girl.)
Me: Is something wrong?
Moron: Yeah, why do you have to strip down to weigh yourself?
Me: Oh! That's because the shoes and jeans weigh nearly 3 kilograms.
Moron: I see. So you are cheating on your weight. (smug smile)
Me: (to myself) duh! WTF!!!
(I quickly slip into (rather jump into) my shorts and head for the door when....)
Moron: ewwwwww MATT!!!!!!
Me: (I jump out of my skin) yeah buddy! Now what?
Moron: Why do you wear such short shorts?
Me: (I lose it now) Well actually these were recommended to me by a baba. Apparently, my "pran shakti" is all down "there." I wear short shorts to keep my engine cool.
Moron: Is it? Can you give me the baba's phone number.......
(I quietly exit the gym vowing never to return)